Wednesday, June 17, 2015

The Real Enemies

Villainous characters in real life (Is this stuff obvious to everyone?).
ZOMBIES: The masses of humanity who go through the motions of life without really living.
VAMPIRE: The charming boyfriend who sucks the life out of you.
TROLL: Bludgeons others for the pleasure of it, usually online.
WEREWOLF: You think there’re a friend until they turn on you and rip you to shreds.
POLTERGEIST: Teenager. Like, duh.
GHOST: The thing that you are refusing to see.
ALIEN ABDUCTION: No, I do not remember what I did last night, and here's why.
MASS MURDERER: This character plays himself, actually.
FAIRY: Miss perfect-body-matching-outfit at your health club. And she's probably rich and happy, too.
TIME BOMB: That big secret you were trying to keep.
CURSE: The legitimate fear that the dogged pursuit of your goal will destroy you.
DRAGON: Someone who collects antiques.
GOOD GUY: The guy you wish you were.
BAD GUY: You as a preschooler.